It Was Only a Matter of Time

I did not wake up this morning feeling like P. Diddy.  In fact, I felt like crap and I didn't bother leaving the house except to go pick up food. It was not a productive day. So around 8:30 I decided to google Kesha and see what was new in her world. There are rumors of new music coming soon. Some say a single should drop this month. I don't really believe that though because according to interviews she is still writing and has no idea what will even go on the album yet. So I am hoping for a birthday single in December and an early spring album release. 

However, just the slightest rumor about new music from Kesha got me in the best mood. I felt empowered and excited about the next few months again. This should start to tell you how much Kesha means to me. Well not her personally because I have never met her, but her music and what she stands for. I am sure a lot of people see her as this crazy party girl who had an eating disorder and disagreements with her now ex-producer Dr. Luke. 

I am not here to defend her or call out people who judge her. I don't know anything about her personal life or relationships. I do want to write about what she means to me and how her music and her persona have changed me. 

In all honesty I didn't love Kesha right off the bat. I enjoyed "Tik Tok" but I didn't really like "Blah Blah Blah". Then I heard "Your Love is My Drug" and from there on I was hooked. I mean Kesha all day everyday. This was back when I still used my ipod to listen to music instead of my phone. (Thank God for Spotify) The number one most played song on my ipod until I got Spotify was "Your Love is My Drug". So you know only about a year and a half. I should also mention this was during my indie college phase when pop music was "so generic and mediocre". (Maybe not a direct quote but I am sure I said something like that during this time.) But with a little help from my best friend Matt and Kesha I started listening to pop and indie music. I don't believe in guilty pleasures. People shouldn't care so much about what you do or do not enjoy. It really doesn't affect them.

Since then the love has only grown. A big part of it was watching her documentary series on MTV. Kesha: My Crazy, Beautiful Life does a good job making Kesha more personable and not this crazy party monster. She has fun and most of the episodes are about nothing or little problems she may encounter. (Everyday popstar stuff you know?) But when she is crying because Perez Hilton is being mean or a fan comes to her and tells her how much she means to them we finally get to see her break the mask. Little by little there is less party and more honesty. It made me fall in love with her. 

For me, Kesha has become a symbol of love. Love for others, animals, and most importantly myself. I am no longer trying to fit in with indie kids or trying to fit in with athletic jocks. I have found the gooey center where I actually belong. Where I can freely say I don't like Daria and running is stupid. I like walking on the treadmill while watching Pretty Little Liars and going to a music festival but dressing comfortably instead of mimicking what celebrities wore to Coachella this year. She made me feel beautiful and special the way I was. I don't have to get my "girlish" figure back and I don't have to wear makeup everyday.  I am happy and I am loved so it doesn't matter. 

Kesha has made me a stronger more independent woman and she taught me acceptance and love are all that really matters. Not necessarily acceptance from others but acceptance of yourself. If I could pay her back for what she has given me I would. Kesha just let me know. My couch is always open. (That's right the couch you multimillionaire.) 

"I am in love with what we are, not what we should be" - Kesha

Go have your own Crazy, Beautiful Life,
-Emy

Slow and Steady Doesn't Go Crazy.

To start off this post, I would like to sincerely apologize for the hiatus. Between family traveling and cleaning out the house and then everybody deciding it was their birthday; I have been quite busy. I am back now though and I feel I have some new exciting stuff to share with the world.

August is pretty much the last month of summer for me. Obviously that doesn't go with the solstice, but this is about perspective. Anyway, school starts in less than a month and I am looking for a part time job. This doesn't take up as much of my time as it should. I am trying very hard to focus and not wish I had another month of sleeping in and then binge watching television. I am struggling to get up and go to Micheal's and apply for some part time cashier job. This brings me to my topic of discussion today. How does someone get and then stay motivated?

Motivation is a very powerful feeling. It can make me feel like I still can run a mile. (Hint: I can't) Or that I could totally learn how to cook and have fun doing it. (Hint: Another thing I can't do.) But I feel like I could when I am motivated to do so. So how do I get motivated?

1. Listen to music while I am in the shower and sing at the top of my lungs. Yes, It is amazing and it can start your day off perfectly. I know I am pitchy and occasionally off key, but something about singing Katy Perry's "Roar" in the morning just makes me want to conquer the world. I have an entire playlist dedicated to positive energy songs that I listen to when I need a quick pick me up. I suggest you find some of your own.

2. Watch a girl power movie. Some of my favorites are "She's the Man" or "The Devil Wears Prada". The obvious favorite is "Clueless". Yes, I know none of these are "Million Dollar Baby" type of girl power, but that isn't really the woman I am anymore. Movies like "Mean Girls" and "Legally Blonde" are about bettering yourself and becoming someone you can be proud of. Films like that just make me want to be a better person no matter how hilarious or (let's face it) young adult they may be.

3. Meditation. This one is not for everyone. The first two are based on opinions and anyone can do that assuming they watch movies or listen to music. But mediation takes quiet and focus. I cannot do it for long but I really don't need to. For ten to fifteen minutes, I just lie there with my eyes closed and listen to a guided meditation about inspiration or motivation. Sometimes it is all about balancing the chakras. (Like I said not for everyone) and sometimes it is just about visualizing what I want to accomplish and finding the energy within myself to get it done.

4. A strong support system. I am fortunate enough to have an amazing boyfriend. I have great friends and family as well, but in the past year I have come to really rely on Mark. He always sees the positive and can get me out of my worrisome head. I forget about the what if and start realizing that no matter what I will be fine. For example, what is the worst thing that could happen if I don't get a job? I will move back home or in with Mark's family. I won't starve. The world will not end. The point is that the worst circumstance is something I could overcome and Mark helps me realize that.

These are ways I get motivated. Now staying motivated is much harder. In all honesty I don't really have it down. I don't know anyone who does. I can be running around accomplishing everything one day and laying around the house the next. (And for three more days after that.) Here are some ideas that at least keep me motivated longer. 

1. Doing a little at a time. I spread my work or projects out. Starting eight projects at a time just gets me overwhelmed and I go to bed. But if I start and finish one small task a day or break a big project up into a bunch of small tasks I feel much better and I am more likely to continue working the next day just because I feel the progress I am making.

2. Rewarding myself. When I was trying to lose weight I would reward myself with Oreos at the end of a week of healthy eating. Well that was a bad idea because I would eat the whole bag and my good week was shot to hell in a day. (Self-discipline may be the topic of my next post.) So I switched to letting myself go to Marshall's or SuperTarget and buy a little something. This worked great because not only was I getting a reward I was also walking for a good hour or so. This works great until the bank account runs dry or if you are a shopaholic.

3.Keeping the house clean. I know this sounds weird but it is really hard for me to function when I know my apartment is a mess. I just want to lay around in the mess and accept my fate as an unemployed slob. This is especially hard for me because I really am an unemployed slob right now. I will always be a slob. The habit is there and I can't break it at this point. But at least making an effort to keep the house looking nice helps me not worry about the possibility of bugs in my house and I can focus on my cover letter or resume. (Bugs are a problem. Literally, I once hid from a cicada under a blanket while my boyfriend got it out of the apartment.)

4. Meditation/strong support system. I added these two together because they were discussed above but they still hold true for staying motivated as well.

I am not perfect (You read the cicada part right?) and these suggestions are not foolproof. They are things I have discovered work for me. Feel free to try them and let me know if you have other suggestions. I am willing to try just about anything. Being motivated to lose weight, finishing a DIY project, or even just getting out of bed can sometimes be hard and that's okay. As long as you can find ways o deal with it and go on living your life then you'll be fine.

Show yourself some love today,

-Emy

Starting all over again.

I had plans for this summer. I was going to cook more, exercise more, and just overall be a more healthy individual. Well I remembered something very important. I hate cooking. It is the worst. All it does is make a mess. Plus, I am no good at it so everything just tastes either mediocre or bad. So that is not going to happen.

Nothing is going according to my plan this summer. I have exercised some but not a lot. Nothing has been cleaned out of the house yet and my sleep schedule is terrible right now. Oh and I am not reading as much as I would like. Even though none of what I wanted to accomplish is getting done I am still feeling pretty good. I have had a lot of fun this summer. I have been to concerts, a TV festival, and the Bahamas. June isn't even over yet and I feel like I have been everywhere.

Yes that's right I got to meet Avril Lavigne. I got to see her open for the Backstreet Boys. It was great.

But now it is time to get back to what I wanted to do. So I am beginning again. Cooking is out though, that is a terrible hobby. I busted out my knee braces and I am going to go running again. Also, I am going to start cleaning out the house. Tomorrow I will tackle my closet. I have been wanting to reorganize it since September. I finally have the opportunity. Eating healthier is a big part of it as well. I have been eating at least one salad a day and I am hopefully going to fit in two soon. I just feel better when I eat more salads.

Although I haven't been achieving my goals, I have kept my spirits high. How? Well there is an app called Happier and it is a place where people share the happy moments of their day. You can get on there and read what is making other people happy and it always brings a smile to my face. I share my feelings and others find joy in that as well. It is very contagious. I love it. I have been using it for about a week now and I couldn't be happier with it. HA!

Here is a link to the app where you can get more information. They also have a website.

One Note I have is that I do not take their courses. I have thought about it, but I have not yet taken one. If you decide to take one please let me know how it was and I might try it as well. They seem to be for mindfulness and general wellbeing.

I would love to know if you have any summer goals and how they are going. Tips and tricks are always welcome.

Stay Strong,

- Emy

Getting Better All The Time

I am spending this weekend in Austin, TX. So naturally I decided to write a blog post. I am attending the very wonderful ATX Festival Season 3. I am doing my best to mingle and be friendly while attending panels and learning a lot about the television industry. Now I am hoping this will help my career but the festival itself has been great fun. 

I wanted to write about the festival though because it is a very important time for me. I have been trying to better myself these past few years and I have learned a lot about who I am and who I am not. I am not a social butterfly. But I am a good listener and that is how I have always made friends. I am good at letting others have the floor. I mean we all want to speak our minds but sometimes others don't want to listen.

So this is my networking strategy. I think of one question on my own. Walk up and ask it, then just let them go on. You have to listen though to prepare your next question. I love hearing people explain new things. Even if I know about a topic already, I will ask them more questions and hopefully learn something new. 

I am a semester away from graduating again so the question of what to do next is constantly looming over my head. So I am walking around this festival with business cards and my ears open. I am starting conversations and staying out of my shell.  This is new and empowering while also stressful and nerve-racking. Career-wise not much may come from it but in terms of personal growth I feel I have won the gold. Cheesy? Yes, but I don't care. 

If you haven't heard of ATX Television Festival you should Google it. It's really great and you should go next year if you can. 

Remember you can always follow me on  

Twitter: @ewilliams_12

Instagram: ewilliams_12

Pinterest: ewilliams12

Stay Golden,

-Emy

Summer jams 2014

So I am on my way back from the Bahamas and I have been catching up on music and Instagram and Pinterest trends. Thank god for LTE right? 

That's me chilling on the beach in the Bahamas holding my friend's coconut drink. It was amazing. I definitely went big. 

However summer is kicking off and it is almost time for music to get partier than usual. So I always enjoy having an actual summer jam declared to help remind me of certain summers. Last year was undoubtedly Miley Cyrus "We Can't Stop". 

2012 - Icona Pop "I Love It" 

2011 - LMFAO "Party Rock Anthem" 

2010 - Wiz Kalifa "Roll Up" 

Just to name a few. 

So here are this years possible song choices. Starting off we have the very lovely Lilly Allen song "Air Balloon" 

http://youtu.be/vo9Fja5x04o

It just makes me want to lay in that beach chair all day and never get a job. 

The second song I am feeling for a summer jam is Tiesto "Let's Go" it features Icona Pop and it has a great empowering feel like most Icona Pop songs do.

http://youtu.be/OhMARmXU7uE

I am sorry for the quality of this one. All I could find was the live version but it is on Spotify if you would like to listen there as well. 

The final song I am considering for my 2014 summer jam is by Charli XCX. It's called "Boom Clap" and I am really digging it right now. 

http://youtu.be/DJlfTX0v7oI

Right now this is a clear front runner but June is usually the time to choose so we will have to wait and see what comes up. 

I apologize for the YouTube links. I am literally in a car driving across country so I was unable to just put the video. I will update it when I get back home. 

Summer jams are for you and maybe someone to share it with. It is that song that no matter what makes you fall in love with that moment. The song that will quickly kill any Summertime Sadness.  (See what I did there?) 

Summer is about having fun and feeling free so find your summer jam and memorize the lyrics and then song it at the top of your lungs whenever you can. 

Just keep swimming, 

- Emy

Time to be bigger

It's road trip time!!! I am currently driving cross country to Florida and then getting on a boat to the Bahamas. I have been excited for this since Feburary. I even planned a hair color which backfired. But whatever. I took a chance and that is what this post is about. 

So the chance I took on my hair didn't pan out. I wanted a very soft baby blue but my hair wouldn't take the color and now I have green mermaid hair. Whatever. Not gonna bother me. 2014 has been about me coming out if my shell. Doing new things and trying new foods and going to new places. It is my "yes" year. So yes I have green hair. 

When Mark and I first became really close friends right before we started dating we would always refer to ourselves as adventurers. But after a while we got comfortable and became homebodies. So this is us going on an adventure again. We love to travel and we want to see everything but it's so easy to stay at home. So we are going bigger. It is the beginning of summer and it's time to go big. 

I plan on posting more pictures. I hope it inspires you to get out there and try something new. You can also follow me on Instagram to see even more. @ewilliams_12 

Go big and do you, 

-Emy

TV or Not TV

One common subject here at Bigger, Better, Louder is certainly going to be television.I have loved television since I can remember and some of my first memories are of Captain Planet and the Biker Mice from Mars.

Now I do not proclaim to be any kind of expert in television. I only claim to have watched an excessive amount of it. That is a nice way of putting it. Even in High school, I would stay at home and watch Will & Grace or The OC in my room rather than go out. I was very much an appointment television person and thank god for DVR or I would not have a life today. Netflix has changed my life in both bad and good ways. The point is I love TV.

Now it is May and a lot of stations are announcing their changes in lineups for the fall. Some news is good and other news is upsetting. For instance, Sean Saves the World is canceled. Now I know that I only watched this show because of my love for Will & Grace. I know this and I was aware of it even when I told myself that show would get better. But it didn't and it wasn't going to. The writing and the jokes just weren't very clever and even though it was about a gay father working for an internet site, the show felt older than the Internet. The best part was Linda Lavin as Sean's mother. However, they could have made her more raunchy and offensive. Sort of like a mix of Karen Walker and Mallory Archer.
Anyway, that is a disappointment I saw coming.

Among others, I am sad about are The Carrie Diaries, and Super Fun Night. Both shows felt like they had finally found their footing just when they left. I am gonna miss them. Also, the beloved Community has been canceled by NBC. This isn't a huge surprise but very disappointing since they were so close to 100 episodes and that coveted sixth season. However, Hart of Dixie is coming back for season 4!. I am pretty happy about that especially since it was moved to Fridays this spring. God that scared me. I honestly look forward to seeing Rachel Bilson every week. Much of my fashion inspiration and knowledge is accredited to her.

When something leaves though there is always a new show to take its place. There are definitely some new shows I will have to check out in the fall. The first and most exciting to me is Gotham. Combining Batman's back story and Ben McKenzie is a sure fire way to get me to watch it. The show itself centers around Gordon(McKenzie) when he is young and it looks like just starting to work in Gotham City. The town is clearly already corrupt and I believe the first season at least will be about Gordon trying to solve the murder of Bruce Wayne's parents.

There is also an interview with Bruno Heller, the showrunner, at Entertainment Weekly which will help give you a better feel for what they are going for. I am pretty excited really. I thin it looks pretty good and Fox has been known to have some good dramas. House anyone?

The second show I am getting ready for is a prequel series. Better Call Saul  centers on the lawyer Saul Goodman played by Bob Odenkirk from the insanely popular and awesome AMC series Breaking Bad. Now there isn't a legit trailer for this series yet. But it is the story of Saul Goodman before he meets Walter White. Still a crooked lawyer helping out the criminals of New Mexico. Created by Vince Gilligan and Peter Gould Better Call Saul premieres this November on AMC which I agree is still too long to wait.

The last new show I will write about today is actually an Internet series that will premiere on CW Seed. Get ready Veronica Mars fans because Dick is getting his own show!! Well maybe. The series is called Play It Again, Dick and it stars Ryan Hansen as himself trying to get an actual spin-off show for his Veronica Mars character Dick Casablancas. Rob Thomas, the creator of Veronica Mars is helping with it. It wouldn't surprise me if other members of the cast make appearances though no appearances have been confirmed.

There are several other series coming up and as we get closer to fall I will do my best to get trailers and post them so you can decide for yourself what you want to watch. But for now summer is coming, so relax and watch all of your summer favorites. Oh and you should  look into checking Girl Meets World which premieres June 27 on the Disney channel. (Whatever don't judge)

Have fun and wear sunscreen,

-Emy