Friday, August 8, 2014

It Was Only a Matter of Time

I did not wake up this morning feeling like P. Diddy.  In fact, I felt like crap and I didn't bother leaving the house except to go pick up food. It was not a productive day. So around 8:30 I decided to google Kesha and see what was new in her world. There are rumors of new music coming soon. Some say a single should drop this month. I don't really believe that though because according to interviews she is still writing and has no idea what will even go on the album yet. So I am hoping for a birthday single in December and an early spring album release. 

However, just the slightest rumor about new music from Kesha got me in the best mood. I felt empowered and excited about the next few months again. This should start to tell you how much Kesha means to me. Well not her personally because I have never met her, but her music and what she stands for. I am sure a lot of people see her as this crazy party girl who had an eating disorder and disagreements with her now ex-producer Dr. Luke. 

I am not here to defend her or call out people who judge her. I don't know anything about her personal life or relationships. I do want to write about what she means to me and how her music and her persona have changed me. 

In all honesty I didn't love Kesha right off the bat. I enjoyed "Tik Tok" but I didn't really like "Blah Blah Blah". Then I heard "Your Love is My Drug" and from there on I was hooked. I mean Kesha all day everyday. This was back when I still used my ipod to listen to music instead of my phone. (Thank God for Spotify) The number one most played song on my ipod until I got Spotify was "Your Love is My Drug". So you know only about a year and a half. I should also mention this was during my indie college phase when pop music was "so generic and mediocre". (Maybe not a direct quote but I am sure I said something like that during this time.) But with a little help from my best friend Matt and Kesha I started listening to pop and indie music. I don't believe in guilty pleasures. People shouldn't care so much about what you do or do not enjoy. It really doesn't affect them.

Since then the love has only grown. A big part of it was watching her documentary series on MTV. Kesha: My Crazy, Beautiful Life does a good job making Kesha more personable and not this crazy party monster. She has fun and most of the episodes are about nothing or little problems she may encounter. (Everyday popstar stuff you know?) But when she is crying because Perez Hilton is being mean or a fan comes to her and tells her how much she means to them we finally get to see her break the mask. Little by little there is less party and more honesty. It made me fall in love with her. 

For me, Kesha has become a symbol of love. Love for others, animals, and most importantly myself. I am no longer trying to fit in with indie kids or trying to fit in with athletic jocks. I have found the gooey center where I actually belong. Where I can freely say I don't like Daria and running is stupid. I like walking on the treadmill while watching Pretty Little Liars and going to a music festival but dressing comfortably instead of mimicking what celebrities wore to Coachella this year. She made me feel beautiful and special the way I was. I don't have to get my "girlish" figure back and I don't have to wear makeup everyday.  I am happy and I am loved so it doesn't matter. 

Kesha has made me a stronger more independent woman and she taught me acceptance and love are all that really matters. Not necessarily acceptance from others but acceptance of yourself. If I could pay her back for what she has given me I would. Kesha just let me know. My couch is always open. (That's right the couch you multimillionaire.) 

"I am in love with what we are, not what we should be" - Kesha

Go have your own Crazy, Beautiful Life,

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Slow and Steady Doesn't Go Crazy.

To start off this post, I would like to sincerely apologize for the hiatus. Between family traveling and cleaning out the house and then everybody deciding it was their birthday; I have been quite busy. I am back now though and I feel I have some new exciting stuff to share with the world.

August is pretty much the last month of summer for me. Obviously that doesn't go with the solstice, but this is about perspective. Anyway, school starts in less than a month and I am looking for a part time job. This doesn't take up as much of my time as it should. I am trying very hard to focus and not wish I had another month of sleeping in and then binge watching television. I am struggling to get up and go to Micheal's and apply for some part time cashier job. This brings me to my topic of discussion today. How does someone get and then stay motivated?

Motivation is a very powerful feeling. It can make me feel like I still can run a mile. (Hint: I can't) Or that I could totally learn how to cook and have fun doing it. (Hint: Another thing I can't do.) But I feel like I could when I am motivated to do so. So how do I get motivated?

1. Listen to music while I am in the shower and sing at the top of my lungs. Yes, It is amazing and it can start your day off perfectly. I know I am pitchy and occasionally off key, but something about singing Katy Perry's "Roar" in the morning just makes me want to conquer the world. I have an entire playlist dedicated to positive energy songs that I listen to when I need a quick pick me up. I suggest you find some of your own.

2. Watch a girl power movie. Some of my favorites are "She's the Man" or "The Devil Wears Prada". The obvious favorite is "Clueless". Yes, I know none of these are "Million Dollar Baby" type of girl power, but that isn't really the woman I am anymore. Movies like "Mean Girls" and "Legally Blonde" are about bettering yourself and becoming someone you can be proud of. Films like that just make me want to be a better person no matter how hilarious or (let's face it) young adult they may be.

3. Meditation. This one is not for everyone. The first two are based on opinions and anyone can do that assuming they watch movies or listen to music. But mediation takes quiet and focus. I cannot do it for long but I really don't need to. For ten to fifteen minutes, I just lie there with my eyes closed and listen to a guided meditation about inspiration or motivation. Sometimes it is all about balancing the chakras. (Like I said not for everyone) and sometimes it is just about visualizing what I want to accomplish and finding the energy within myself to get it done.

4. A strong support system. I am fortunate enough to have an amazing boyfriend. I have great friends and family as well, but in the past year I have come to really rely on Mark. He always sees the positive and can get me out of my worrisome head. I forget about the what if and start realizing that no matter what I will be fine. For example, what is the worst thing that could happen if I don't get a job? I will move back home or in with Mark's family. I won't starve. The world will not end. The point is that the worst circumstance is something I could overcome and Mark helps me realize that.

These are ways I get motivated. Now staying motivated is much harder. In all honesty I don't really have it down. I don't know anyone who does. I can be running around accomplishing everything one day and laying around the house the next. (And for three more days after that.) Here are some ideas that at least keep me motivated longer. 

1. Doing a little at a time. I spread my work or projects out. Starting eight projects at a time just gets me overwhelmed and I go to bed. But if I start and finish one small task a day or break a big project up into a bunch of small tasks I feel much better and I am more likely to continue working the next day just because I feel the progress I am making.

2. Rewarding myself. When I was trying to lose weight I would reward myself with Oreos at the end of a week of healthy eating. Well that was a bad idea because I would eat the whole bag and my good week was shot to hell in a day. (Self-discipline may be the topic of my next post.) So I switched to letting myself go to Marshall's or SuperTarget and buy a little something. This worked great because not only was I getting a reward I was also walking for a good hour or so. This works great until the bank account runs dry or if you are a shopaholic.

3.Keeping the house clean. I know this sounds weird but it is really hard for me to function when I know my apartment is a mess. I just want to lay around in the mess and accept my fate as an unemployed slob. This is especially hard for me because I really am an unemployed slob right now. I will always be a slob. The habit is there and I can't break it at this point. But at least making an effort to keep the house looking nice helps me not worry about the possibility of bugs in my house and I can focus on my cover letter or resume. (Bugs are a problem. Literally, I once hid from a cicada under a blanket while my boyfriend got it out of the apartment.)

4. Meditation/strong support system. I added these two together because they were discussed above but they still hold true for staying motivated as well.

I am not perfect (You read the cicada part right?) and these suggestions are not foolproof. They are things I have discovered work for me. Feel free to try them and let me know if you have other suggestions. I am willing to try just about anything. Being motivated to lose weight, finishing a DIY project, or even just getting out of bed can sometimes be hard and that's okay. As long as you can find ways o deal with it and go on living your life then you'll be fine.

Show yourself some love today,