Friday, August 8, 2014

It Was Only a Matter of Time

I did not wake up this morning feeling like P. Diddy.  In fact, I felt like crap and I didn't bother leaving the house except to go pick up food. It was not a productive day. So around 8:30 I decided to google Kesha and see what was new in her world. There are rumors of new music coming soon. Some say a single should drop this month. I don't really believe that though because according to interviews she is still writing and has no idea what will even go on the album yet. So I am hoping for a birthday single in December and an early spring album release. 

However, just the slightest rumor about new music from Kesha got me in the best mood. I felt empowered and excited about the next few months again. This should start to tell you how much Kesha means to me. Well not her personally because I have never met her, but her music and what she stands for. I am sure a lot of people see her as this crazy party girl who had an eating disorder and disagreements with her now ex-producer Dr. Luke. 

I am not here to defend her or call out people who judge her. I don't know anything about her personal life or relationships. I do want to write about what she means to me and how her music and her persona have changed me. 

In all honesty I didn't love Kesha right off the bat. I enjoyed "Tik Tok" but I didn't really like "Blah Blah Blah". Then I heard "Your Love is My Drug" and from there on I was hooked. I mean Kesha all day everyday. This was back when I still used my ipod to listen to music instead of my phone. (Thank God for Spotify) The number one most played song on my ipod until I got Spotify was "Your Love is My Drug". So you know only about a year and a half. I should also mention this was during my indie college phase when pop music was "so generic and mediocre". (Maybe not a direct quote but I am sure I said something like that during this time.) But with a little help from my best friend Matt and Kesha I started listening to pop and indie music. I don't believe in guilty pleasures. People shouldn't care so much about what you do or do not enjoy. It really doesn't affect them.

Since then the love has only grown. A big part of it was watching her documentary series on MTV. Kesha: My Crazy, Beautiful Life does a good job making Kesha more personable and not this crazy party monster. She has fun and most of the episodes are about nothing or little problems she may encounter. (Everyday popstar stuff you know?) But when she is crying because Perez Hilton is being mean or a fan comes to her and tells her how much she means to them we finally get to see her break the mask. Little by little there is less party and more honesty. It made me fall in love with her. 

For me, Kesha has become a symbol of love. Love for others, animals, and most importantly myself. I am no longer trying to fit in with indie kids or trying to fit in with athletic jocks. I have found the gooey center where I actually belong. Where I can freely say I don't like Daria and running is stupid. I like walking on the treadmill while watching Pretty Little Liars and going to a music festival but dressing comfortably instead of mimicking what celebrities wore to Coachella this year. She made me feel beautiful and special the way I was. I don't have to get my "girlish" figure back and I don't have to wear makeup everyday.  I am happy and I am loved so it doesn't matter. 

Kesha has made me a stronger more independent woman and she taught me acceptance and love are all that really matters. Not necessarily acceptance from others but acceptance of yourself. If I could pay her back for what she has given me I would. Kesha just let me know. My couch is always open. (That's right the couch you multimillionaire.) 

"I am in love with what we are, not what we should be" - Kesha

Go have your own Crazy, Beautiful Life,

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